i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
