I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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