If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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