totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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