Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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