if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
