I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
