But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
is that a dick in a sweater?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
