I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
My ass is underappreciated
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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