You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
