I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
