Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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