yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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