For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
