Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
