we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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