He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
