i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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