Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
