if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
