Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You can't special order awesome
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
