Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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