Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
