Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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