I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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