Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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