Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
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