She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
