i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
