sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize