Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
