Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
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