Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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