He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
