This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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