i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
