the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
