And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
