whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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