He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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