Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I can't put those talents on a resume
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
