it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
