i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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