Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
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