I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
