I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
