We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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