The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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