i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
