So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
