So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
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