it glows. i had to have it.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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