Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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