i can't believe i had my finger in that
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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