just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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