whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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