I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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