is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
