Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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